62 The Power of “Undoing” with Author and “Untigering” Movement Founder Iris Chen
“A lot of untigering is about turning inward.” – Iris Chen
What can we undo versus do?
That is what we are exploring today: the power of undoing. It takes a lot to shift culture and break generational cycles, so to help me explore this topic is Iris Chen, a self-described recovering tiger mother, the founder of the “untigering” movement, and author of Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent. After seeing the negative effects of authoritarian parenting and unhealthy cultural expectations in her own life, she decided to dedicate herself to promoting mental health, peaceful parenting, and self-directed learning.
In today’s show, we talk about the undoing process that must occur for us to truly step into our power of The Only and we explain why this message resonates with both parents and non-parents alike.
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“Looking back, I felt like I didn’t have a voice as a child.” – Iris Chen
Listen in to learn how to reevaluate your relationship with your children and your parents and how to unlearn patterns you picked up in your childhood. We also talk about Iris’ early use of success and achievement as coping mechanisms, how to move past perfectionism, and ways to create moments of intergenerational healing in your own family.
“Look beyond the behavior to see all behavior as communication.” – Iris Chen
Show Notes:
- What is untigering
- Negative effects of tiger parenting
- Unlearning negative patterns from childhood
- Setting healthy expectations for children
- Seeing bad behavior as communication
- Harnessing the power of the only
- Reevaluating your relationship with your children
- Achievement as a coping mechanism
- Healing intergenerational trauma
- Respecting your parents’ journey
“My whole thing is about investing in my family and slowing down and doing what feels right.” – Iris Chen
3 Pieces of Advice or Action Steps:
- Cultivate a solid sense of self
- Live in alignment
- Give yourself plenty of grace and compassion
Brand and Resource Mentions:
- Watch The Home Edit
- Get your copy of Untangled: Guiding Teenage Girls Through the Seven Transitions into Adulthood by Lisa Damour Ph.D.
- Get your copy of Untigering: Peaceful Parenting for the Deconstructing Tiger Parent by Iris Chen
Connect with Iris Chen:
LinkedIn | Instagram | Facebook | Untigering
Thanks for being a part of this bold and powerful conversation on The Power of The Only!
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To you and your voice,
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